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10 entries this month
Down the drain!
13:47 Oct 22 2009
Times Read: 738
Having a few hiccups in my relationship with Rob :(
Just lately i have been down and depressed about the whole me having no money income and the whole me quitting college so i can claim money. Had a bit of a break down yesterday morning.....wasnt pretty it just seemed like Rob did not even care, he only realised how bad i was when i was shaking and crying saying i wanted to end my life (yes i know that sounds so emo.....but i actually have real shit going on, im no attention seeker) Yes so if you know me im not a attention seeker im one of them people who bottle all my feelings up and the other day i just could not hold it in any longer.
Im questioning what the fuck i can do :(
Rob was like your so negative kirsty and he was saying when im all down it makes him worry and depressed. So yea look im pushing my own boyfriend away! :( I don't know that i can do to i said to him il try be more happier and try sort out my problems, i just feel a break up coming....i hope to god we don't :(
Me loves me him......hes the only happy thing in my life right now, if he breaks up with me then yea i'l lose all hope and just give up :(
Im trying i really am.......it upsets me that the fucking goverment won't give me any money to live on because im at college! I said to the woman so you basically expect me to live on nothing? she was just like sorry but you can not claim anything! Ugh! Im in alot of shit right now.....need to find a way to get out of it, and hope Rob stays with me through it all.....fingers crossed eh?
Happy =]
12:34 Oct 16 2009
Times Read: 751
Well my birthday was amazing :) I really REALLY enjoyed myself and alot of people came so that made me even happier :)
Kinda didnt stop celebrating really did the day after too :) drunk.....having a smoke ahhhhh bliss it was!
I have some pictures but there serioulsy are terrible i decided to take them when i was already pretty drunk so there blurry and really bad, but i shall post some of the ok looking ones in here soon, when i get the chance because at the moment i really can not be bother its too early haha!
Yaaaay 20!
22:14 Oct 13 2009
Times Read: 759
Yaaay so excited about tomorrow! Going to see a movie and then to town for drinks :) Hope it will be a good birthday :)
Im most likely going to be very drunk hehe! but yaaaaaay can not wait to get all dressed up for tomorrow!!! Wish me luck with turning 20 hehe! I wont be online tomorrow well i doubt i be online lol! But hey you never know :)
2 days :)
11:07 Oct 12 2009
Times Read: 767
Well 2 days till my birthday yaaaay :)
Kind of started of with a bad morning......found out i can not get any income of the job centre because i do 19 hours a week at college. :(
So yes im screwed......i need to find a way to get money to pay my parents rent money and stuff.
Basically my options are quit college, move out and get my own place, or try find some kind of part time job.......
Ugh......things are not looking to good money wise at the moment :(
Make up!
23:09 Oct 10 2009
Times Read: 793
Is looking at make up tutorials =] seen as i have a 50's style dress im thinking about doing 50's Pinup/Burlesque Make up styles to go with my dress :P need to practice first and have a play around with stuff, seen as i have never done my make up like that before.....hope i can do it! looks way pretty =]
We shall see *winks*
DRESS!!!!21:17 Oct 09 2009
Times Read: 846
Yaaaay finally got a dress for my birthday =] Its a 50's style polka dot dress. Here is a picture of it i grabbed it off the website, im not wearing it till my birthday though so no piccys of me in the dress till my actual birthday ;) hehe! Oh and by the way the buttons on it are pink and so are the dots :)
Tell me what you think =]
O_o
22:06 Oct 04 2009
Times Read: 857
YAAAY! VR is finally back up and running.....been trying on and off all day :( wonder what happened? but hey im glad its all working now :)
So aye its been another boring day....this damn flu is getting me down big time. Ah well college tomorrow and i have to go :( maybe it wil make me feel better hope so........
oooooooo and guess what? 10 days till my birthday :)
meh.....
17:50 Oct 03 2009
Times Read: 863
Aww....my premium membership runs out in 3 days =[ well its was good to see what it was like to be a premium i guess :)
Hmm.....nothing else to really say without me rambling on about random things that happened yesterday and today lol!
Well im still really ill :( Woke up at 4 in the morning and i couldn't talk my throat is that sore.....i just croaked it was not nice. My throat is starting to clear abit now thankgod, but meh.....i feel really bloody rubbish want this cold to go away :(
Wow!
19:33 Oct 01 2009
Times Read: 869
Wow i just only realised that im 20 in 13 days!!!!!! Plus im pretty happy now had a big cash amount paid into my bank today hehe! So im going dress shopping when i feel better next week hopefully with Liam and Danny :) EXCITED!!!! Going to pick out a super nice dress to wear for my birthday :) Started inviting people already going to go to the cinema and then for random drinkage after in town hehe! should be fun.....i hope =]
Cold :(
12:32 Oct 01 2009
Times Read: 875
This darn cold it getting me down seems to be getting worse :( haven't been to college for the last 2 weeks because of all my problems at home and this cold :( Ugh need to get focused i don't want the college kicking me off the course :( That would just top everything of really.
Last night was just horrible didn't get much sleep at all, tossing and turning and it was so hot :( kept waking up every hour and ugh i was just so fed up i just wanted to sleep.......
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COMMENTS
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xAXEWOMANx
14:23 Oct 22 2009
I hope he sticks with you too my lovely...
sorry things are going bad for you :(
wish i could help...
it really does suck that you can't get any help education is important...
so they should help people such as yourself in every way they can...
and stop wasting money on shit that really isant as important as someones whole future
grrrrrrrr
assholes...
hope something good comes your way soon
you deserve it
xXx
MorbidAngels15
14:43 Oct 22 2009
indeed they are fucking arseholes!!! ugh.....so stupid i swear :(
and i hope he sticks me me toooo, like i said fingers crossed....*hugs*
xxxxxxxx
placidchaos
15:08 Oct 22 2009
I've been in a similar position, it sucks. The thing you need to keep in mind is that there's always hope as long as you don't give up. One of my favorite sayings and one that I picked up during some of my hard times is: So long as we are even capable of thinking the word, there is still hope.
MorbidAngels15
15:28 Oct 22 2009
Thanks hun :) indeed i will try not to give up, and its a good saying there is always hope no matter how bad things get sometimes.
Sephiroth
19:02 Oct 23 2009
Sounds pretty bad Morbid.